I tend to stay busy. Real busy. I usually come home exhausted (yes, even though youth ministers don't work). I constantly keep my mind stimulated; work, books, tv, video games, computers. . . I couldn't tell you the last time I did nothing (when I say nothing I mean go out without an ipod, lay down without the tv or book, do something without a hidden agenda).
I think I'm afraid of what my mind has to offer, of the thoughts or memories that could creep in. As long as I keep pressing forward, I'm too busy too turn around at look behind me. This neck-breaking speed can't be good for anyone. And I'm not getting anywhere faster.
I'm tuning it out. I'm constantly on people about not giving up after loss, but am I really doing any better. I have just chosen a different defense mechanism. Something I'm more comfortable with and makes me look better. I have to quit tuning life out, quit tuning grief out, quit tuning out the things in life that make me happy.
Your coping skills sound a lot like someone I know.. eh-hmm- AMBER! Sometimes it is easy to stay busy and not let the thoughts come flooding in. Sometimes the memories are painful bc it ultimately reminds you of your loss. at the same time, memories are all we have and we should remind ourselves constantly about times shared with lost loved ones. Easier said than done, I know. Its hard to talk to other people that knew that person too. We are all affected by it differently on different days. But everyday is a challenge wether its facing the thoughts or fighting to keep them out.
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