Thursday, October 21, 2010

is it over yet?

The other day I overheard someone talking about a family who lost a loved one, they were asked to continue to remember them in prayer (it's been a couple of weeks). He replied its still going to be a while it usually takes a year or a year and a half for the grieving process. The guy meant no harm. I read the same thing in multiple books (it's usually followed by it's different for every person.....).

But we can' sit there watching a clock, thinking that life will ever be the same again. When life rocks you, you change. Foever. You're not the same person ever again. Everything that made you who you are is different. The things that mad you happy, the things that made you sad, the things made you laugh, the things made you cry. You've changed.

Yes life does go on. Hopefully you'll laugh and enjoy it once more. But its a new normal.

At acceptance is everything better? At that point when you interact with society is everything better? At the point when you can laugh and sit through a movie is everything better? Not at all but this is your life. you have to live it one day at time. The grieving process is a LIFELONG process that you will experience forever.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

the world keeps going

Two years have flown by. So much has happened. I can't say it's gotten easier living without her, but at least at this point I know I can survive. One of the hardest realities that hits you soon after you lose someone is that world doesn't stop. Life must go on. As you drive around soaking in your anger, hurt, frustration and questions you notice something, no one else seems to be too concerned. They sit in their cars talking on their phones, laughing, smiling, enjoying life. And you're just there, existing for the moment.

I really have no room to talk. In ministry I grew way too comfortable at funerals and to this day still really am. I lost people close to me and went on like nothing was wrong and thats what a lot of people expect out of us. But for those of us out there who have lost part of us when someone we loved has passed on, you ask yourself how can the world just keep going on like nothing happened? As you drive around and wonder if you'll ever to laugh like that, we have to remember the world keeps going. Does the warrant anger and frustrations? Maybe... but what's more important in these moments is a healthy remembrance of those who we have lost and those close to us who have lost someone.

Remember the good times, the times you laughed, the times you cried, the precious seconds you had with them not just the fact they aren't here with us. That's the true injustice, simplifying someone's life to the second when we lost them or the a funeral.