Laughing Again

I was reading through Bonnie's blog (http://sweetcarolinebaby.blogspot.com) the other day and found she had stumbled upon something hugely important, happiness. The times when I am genuinely happy aren't quite as often as I would like them to be and to top that off when one of these glimpses of happiness arises, guilt sets in. It seems to be a struggle that most grievers face; the guilt of laughing again. I found a quote in I wasn't ready to say Goodbye that I wanted to share,


"At times, it's hard to laugh - we feel guilty for "going on." We wonder if our laughing makes our grief less real - if our memories will fade - if people will think we don't miss the deceased.

If only there were rules to grief, how much easier it would be. Laughter and happiness can become haunting. How should we look? How should we act? If we look like we are having fun, what might people think? Is it okay to just forget for a while - to try and escape what has happened?

The answers are all within your heart. There is nothing you need to do, or act like, for the sake of others. Don't worry about how anyone perceives you. It's alright to escape for a while, to watch a comedy - to laugh. Remember, the person who has passed on is one who would wish you nothing but the best. Your laughter becomes their laughter as well."


So often I feel like the man in the picture, wearing a mask for the world to see. A mask that shows that I'm happy again, laughing once more but inside there is a struggle. Is it right for me to laugh, is it too soon? I think it might be time. Time to stop hating life and start enjoying it, time to stop feeling guilty and start feeling free, time to cry less and to start laughing again. And if you aren't there yet, that's okay. I'm not sure I'm there yet either but I'm hopeful that someday I will be there.